| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Newsletter Signup:
Thank You. You have been added to the Newsletter.
|
Jokes
Ned was down on his luck in Las Vegas. He had gambled away all his money and had to borrow a dime from another gambler just to use the men's room. The stall happened to be open, so he used the dime in a slot machine and hit the jackpot. He took his winnings and went to the blackjack table and turned his small winnings into ten million dollars.
Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Ned went on the lecture circuit, where he told his incredible story. He told his audiences that he was eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever found the man he would share his fortune with him. After months of lectures, a man in the audience jumped up and said, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the dime."
"You're not the one I'm looking for. I'm looking for the guy who left the door open!"I was walking down the street the other day when I saw my buddy Matt. I walked up to him and mentioned that I had the most bizarre dream the night before last. Matt listened intently as I told him that the dream consisted of one thing and one thing only. So I told him that all I had dreamt about was a huge glowing number "5." It was made of gold and sparkled with diamonds.
Matt's curiosity was peaked. I went on to say that the first thing that I did in the morning was to grab the daily racing digest and look up the fifth race.
Matt raised an eyebrow. So I told him that the #5 horse in the fifth race was named "The Fifth Element." Matt started grinning. Then I told Matt point-by-point what I did that day.
- I ate five bowls of cereal for breakfast and drank five cups of coffee
- I went for a five mile jog to clear my head
- I took a five minute shower
- I dressed in the fifth suit I found in my closet
- I sat in my car for five minutes before starting it up
- I drove to the racetrack and parked in the fifth stall in the fifth row
- I entered through the fifth admissions gate
- I bought five programs
- I went to the fifth betting window and bet $555 on the fifth horse in the fifth race
- I went and sat in the fifth row of the bleachers making sure there were five people sitting on either side of me.
I settled in and waited for the race to start.
"Well," said Matt. "Did the horse win?" he looked at Matt and said, "Stupid horse came in fifth."A guy was playing 10-20 Hold 'Em and was stuck for about $300 when he looked down and saw a little green leprechaun. "Quit playing poker forever right now and I'll give you a pot of gold worth a million dollars." said the little fellow.
The player replied "Let me get even first."
| |
| Free Cash Casino
Browse through the following casinos listed below, such as
,
to get information about its excellent online games such as
Playing in any of the casinos can be made both for fun - for new players - and for real money too. Deposits and withdrawals, including collecting your prize money, at Captain Cooks Casino for example, can be made by
900 Pay, ACH, Citadel, FirePay, Gaming Card, Mastercard, Neteller, PlayCheck, PrePaid ATM, Visa and Wire Transfer.
If you chose playing at 888 Online Casino, all of its games can be played in
Danish, Dutch, English, French, German, Japanese, Portuguese, Simplified Chinese and Spanish.
| Golden Palace Casino |  | |
Start your wagers at Golden Palace Casino! With a welcome bonus of $300 and an average payouts of 98% you'll never miss out.
Choose your favorite online table from a wide range of games - over 60 online games, and play either for fun or for real money. Featured games are
'Aces and Faces' 25-Line Video Poker, Baccarat, Blackjack, Blackjack Surrender, Blackjack Switch, Caribbean Poker, Casino War, Craps, Derby Day, 'Jacks or Better' 10-Line Video Poker, Keno, Pai Gow, Roulette, Sic-Bo, Slot Machines and Video Poker. |
Avg rating:
 |
| | | | All Jackpots Casino |  | | All Jackpots Casino is part of Microgaming software provider and holds a great new player bonus of $200 and payouts rate of 98%.
English
is available for the players, as well as trading currencies like
US Dollar, Euro and Pound.
Over 60 different games to choose from inwhich you will find
Baccarat, Blackjack, Casino War, Craps, Roulette, Slot Machines and Video Poker. | |
Avg rating:
|
| | | | 888 Online Casino |  | | 888 Online Casino is an example of an online casino with pretty good features.
The software
is downloadable
and is provided by Random Logic.
This casino
does not offer Flash games.
You can receive a welcome bonus of $200 as well as other perks when you play at this online casino.
An exclusive VIP club is featured for High-Rollers and any betters willing to join. Progressive Jackpots are also available by this casino.
Available payment methods are
Citadel, Direct Bank Transfer, FirePay, Mastercard, Neteller, Visa and Wire Transfer. | |
Avg rating:
|
| | | | Captain Cooks Casino |  | |
At Captain Cooks Casino you can expect great welcome bonus of $50. Once you step aboard, you can expect complete privacy and security.
With over 80 realistic, interactive games, gambling online has never been better. Captain Cooks Casino has something for everyone, including
Baccarat, Blackjack, Caribbean Poker, Casino War, Craps, Keno, Pai Gow, Roulette, Slot Machines and Video Poker.
Cashing out your winning prize can be made using
900 Pay, ACH, Citadel, FirePay, Gaming Card, Mastercard, Neteller, PlayCheck, PrePaid ATM, Visa and Wire Transfer. | |
Avg rating:
|
| | |
|
|
| |
